My, What a fragile body you have
by WaitingForWonderland
Summary: Stiles has always wanted to be like his mother - kind, funny, clever and brave - and he gets his wish in the worst way. Now he and his mom are tied together by the sickness that ended her too soon, and he has a feeling it won't end well for him.


Stiles hadn't been feeling quite himself lately. At first he put the bumps, bruises and constant tiredness down to running around with a pack of freaking werewolves, because hey, who wouldn't be a little roughed up after that, not to mention tired?

But then comes the nausea, and the aching joints, and the absolute lack of appetite.

After that, he begins to freak out just a little, because wasn't this just like his mom in the beginning? And so he decides to be a bit more cautious, but still not tell his dad because he really doesn't need the added stress.

Until.

Until one day Stiles is sitting in science, and he feels like he's about to blow chunks. He says as much to the teacher, who lets him go because he really couldn't be bothered dealing with him, and Stiles makes it to the bathroom in time to puke into the sink.

It has the nasty taste, smell and feeling of normal vomit, aside from the one added factor.

Stiles just puked blood.

Suddenly Stiles knows he's not ok, because this was what his mom had been like, and oh god, they said it was only rarely hereditary, but clearly Stiles was an exception. He laughs instead of crying because really, his best friend gets to turn into a super wolf, and he gets this? Not cool.

He leaves school without bothering to sign out, and drives down to the station, mind both numb and buzzing at the same time.

He wasn't sure how to tell his dad all of a sudden.

How do walk up to a man and go 'hey, you know that disease that killed your wife? Right, well your son - your only living family member - is displaying every single symptom, surprise!

He decides just to wing it, because that's what he's good at - aside from researching, observing, and saving the packs stupid asses all the freaking time - and walks into the station before he can chicken out.

His father looks up, and frowns in the usual mix of confusion, love and resigned acceptance, asking 'Stiles, what do you think you're doing here?' And suddenly Stiles just can't say it, because god he's only seventeen and this is his dad and he can't bring himself to say he might be dying.

His father must see the emotions - terror, worry, nausea - flash across his face, because suddenly his own drops, and Stiles knows in the back of his mind that his dads worst fear is suddenly coming to life.

Without saying anything, Stiles gulps and lifts his shirt, displaying both the bruises and the weight loss coming from constantly feeling ill, and having no appetite.

His dads face pales and he stands up from behind his desk, walking forward to grip Stiles arms. It's gentler than usual and Stiles knows he knows.

"It was blood dad." He makes himself say it, knowing his father will understand, and suddenly he's being hugged, and he hears a soft 'oh no Stiles, no. Not you too.' And he's not sure if he was meant to hear that, so he just hugs his dad back, because it has been a very long time since they'd hugged, and wow he missed this.

They go to the doctors straight away, his dad arranging somebody else to cover his shift, said deputy looking at Stiles as if to say 'I'm so sorry.'

The waiting room is dull and shiny and smells so strongly of antiseptic he understands why nobody in the pack liked coming near this place. With their super schnozes, it must smell absolutely terrible.

His legs are shaking up in down in a discontented rhythm against the linoleum, and his mind won't focus on the magazine he grabbed. His dad is so pale and quiet and Stiles will explode if something doesn't happen soon because he hates waiting so very much, and he wants the suspense to just be over with already.

He stands and begins to pace, and mumbles what he already knew about cancer under his breath - which thanks to his research skills is a gruesome amount - and let's out a sigh of relief when his name is called.

The doctor was the same specialist that his mother had seen, and when he sees them he sighs, this odd expression crosses his face, like guilt and understanding and regret and a lot of things Stiles didn't want to see just then.

They tell the doctor their fears and he nodded and takes notes, and does a ridiculous amount of tests, and Stiles watches both men grow more solemn by the second because he really was just like his mother.

By the time they're done, all three know exactly what's wrong, even if they need the bloods to come back and make it official.

Stiles had the same stomach cancer that killed his mother, and that's a really cruel twist of fate because Stiles always wished he could have more in common with her but not like this.

They make plans to go to the hospital, and further tests and treatments are discussed, and he wants to shout 'what's the point?!' Because he would die anyway. By the time you knew you had the cancer it was usually too late to treat, as they learnt in his mothers case.

On the drive home, his father is lost in memories, and Stiles wonders dimly why nobody in the pack sniffed his sickness out, before he realised that they wouldn't be looking for it, and he spent so much time at Deaton's now they would just pass sickness off as something that came from hanging at the vets.

He found it ridiculously ironic that all of his friends were wolves, with super senses and reflexes and immune systems, and he was going die because his body was attacking itself.

Danny and Lydia and Alison didn't count as weak humans like he did, because Danny was big and strong, and Alison was a hunter, and God help the moron that went after Lydia, because she was the scariest person he knew, wolf or not.

It was somehow only lunch time when the Stilinski's got home, and his dad headed back out to work after Stiles assuring 'yes, he would be fine on his own for the next few hours'. He knew that his father just needed time and space right now - needed the mundane of his work to numb that voice in his head telling him to drink it all away.

After saying goodbye, Stiles went up to his room to google stomach cancer, flicking Scott a text to say he had gone home because he felt a little iffy, and it wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth.

He gets a text back saying 'feel better, will I see you at the pack meeting tonight?' And Stiles swears (loudly, fluently and creatively) because you can't just get out of pack meetings without a very good reason and he wasn't ready to tell them yet.

He decides just not to respond and spends the next five hours googling like mad, dredging up every single little thing he could find about his predicament.

His dad comes home, sticks his head in to check on him, and then announces he was going to pack it in early, because the day had just really taken out of him. The teen understands, and can't bring himself to hold it against his father that the man just couldn't be around him right now.

Rather than call his dad on it, Stiles comments that there's a pack meeting, and his dad freezes and is on the tip of saying 'just, please stay here tonight' but he doesn't, because he knows the pack is Stiles life now.

He gives his dad a hug and shuts his computer off, not feeling very reassured by what he had found. If anything, he felt more correct in his assumption that he would probably die, and decided that maybe telling the others would be a good idea. They would be hurt if he just went and died without telling them.

He paces and thinks for a while, before his clock informs him he is already five minutes late to the pack meeting.

Stiles laughs suddenly as he realises he won't have to worry about the cancer when the incredibly grumpy and good looking - and did i mention grumpy? - Derek kills him.

Sure enough, when he arrives to the den already packed to the brim, Derek slams him against the wall and snarls about ripping his head off if he was ever late again face looking amazing in his fury and wow those were some ridiculously great genes.

Stiles suppresses a wince as Derek lets him go because ow, fuck, now his arms legs, back, wrists and face would probably get bruises, but he laughs it off because the others are laughing too.

He chirps a 'sorry oh great grumpy Alpha, but I was busy. It won't happen again I assure you.' And Jackson snorts a 'busy with who, we're your only friends.' Because while they may be friends now, the two delighted in irritating each other at every opportunity.

The pack talk about wolfy type things for a little bit, and he manages to escape everyone's notice till Alison nudges him with a 'hey, you're being quiet. Still don't feel well?' And suddenly he knows the whole pack is listening even as they continue their conversation.

Always the clown, he laughs it off again. "I feel fine right now and I'm not saying anything because I've heard the wolfy business countless times, and the sooner it's over, the sooner we can watch terrible horror movies and laugh at the idiots who get themselves killed." Alison laughs and most of the pack smile, Peter reaching over to flick him on the ear.

He calls him an idiot, but its said with a sort of affection, so Stiles doesn't really mind. Once he as Peter progressed past the 'Mr Creeper McBad-Touch, the Psyco Wolf' stage the two had gotten on surprisingly well, and he had helped the rest of the pack get used to the pure sass and sarcasm that was Peter Hale.

More than one time some stupid pup had pointed out that Stiles and Peter were like the same person - except Peter had the habit of growing fur and fangs once a month and Stiles had a habit of carrying around mountain ash and wolfsbane.

They talk for a little while longer, and then Isacc announces that today's cheesy horror is 'Wolf-boy' which is sure to be a laugh.

The pack agrees with rolling eyes, and Stiles realises that as much as he hates to do it, he has to tell them now or he'll chicken out. He either tells them then and their or they'll find out when he's six feet under and partying it up in heaven.

Oh god, he really is going to die isn't he?

Stomach churning, he snags the remote and stops the movie in the opening credits, a cause of much complaining and 'Stiles you idiot, what are you doing now?' As he stands to face them.

He avoids looking at them as he shoves up his shirt sleeves, and hears indrawn breath at the sight of his arms which - sure enough - have perfect imprints of both Derek's and his fathers hands in morbidly pretty shades of blue and purple.

Before they can jump to the wrong conclusions - and it wouldn't be hard to, they already knew one pack member who had been abused - he asked them in a voice too quiet to sound like his own to please take a good hard look (and sniff) and tell him what they found.

All the wolves obeyed, the humans looking both confused and worried. Derek was alpha, and he had the stronger senses, so he was the first to react. His eyes flashed red and he growled long and low, looking even more sexy and dangerous than usual.

"Stiles, what is that? Is that-?" Erica sniffed at the air, while Peter looked resigned, nodding in his direction to say 'yes, I know, I'm so very sorry'.

Scott was shaking and whining and chanting 'no, no, not you. Your mom was bad enough, not you too.' Under his breath, and Stiles wanted to hug him, but couldn't move, because nobody had really said anything and he was a little scared.

Boyd whispered to the human three what the pack had found and Alison began to tear up almost instantly.

"Cancer Stiles? Oh god. No, this isn't happening. You did NOT survive all this supernatural shit just to go and get cancer you ass!" Lydia sounded furious, but he could see her lip quiver and her hands shake.

Now that it had been said, the whole pack was going nuts.

"How long have you known?"  
"What type?"  
"What treatments?"  
"How are you feeling?"  
"Are you going to be OK?"  
"Does your dad know?"  
"What was this about your mom?"

And Stiles suddenly couldn't get enough air in his lungs, and his chest was too tight, and wow, was the room spinning?

He noted vaguely that he was having a panic attack, even as his heart went haywire and decided to try beat its way out of his chest. He reached a hand up to scratch at his throat, and tried to force air down his lungs.

He felt somebody grab him, and tell him to breathe and that he was fine, and Stiles began to breathe normally again which was great because any more time not breathing probably would have made him pass out, which would send the pack into hysterics.

Scott was explaining that Stiles suffered from panic attacks, and he wanted to laugh because his last panic attack had been on the anniversary of the day his mom was diagnosed and he had to find that funny or else it would break him.

The whole pack was shaken by the news because they were used to being in life or death situations, but not like this. Not with an enemy they couldn't attack going after one of their own from the inside out.

He explained that it was the same stomach cancer that had killed his mother, and spoke clinically about his chances of survival which were low, and his options which were few.

Derek suggested the turn, but Stiles pointed out that it could kill him, and no thanks because he didn't think ADHD plus super wolf powers would work too well together. Besides, he might live right? (wrong.)

Derek went all wolfy at that and left to go punch things, about half the pack following. Danny, Alison, Lydia, Scott, and Isacc all stayed, teary eyed, and just talked to Stiles. About anything and everything.

When a wave of nausea hits and he pukes blood for the second time, they say nothing and just sniffle and Stiles cleans it up apologetically.

Still he knows that when the others come back and wince, it's because they can smell the blood, that copper metallic tang that smelt far too strongly of death.

...

He had stage four, and his symptoms get worse over the week between his first telling the pack and his dad, and when his hospital appointment is a week later.

They start a really aggressive treatment of chemo and drugs and Stiles begins to look skeletal, always puking, never eating, and so very very pale.

His hair is gone, and he cries just a little bit when Jackson, Danny, Boyd, Isacc, Scott, Derek, Peter and his father all come in the next day with heads as bald as his.

Erica cuts her hair very very short and Allison and Lydia make him hats and suddenly being bald isn't so bad because really, the little hair he had disappearing didn't really make a difference right?

As the months pass, he spends less and less time awake, more time in the hospital, and he knows he's not going to make it, treatment or not.

It seems like the entire town knows about Stiles, because on the few days he's not in the hospital, he doesn't have to pay for the few curly fries he chokes down, or wait in line to go to the loo, or listen to teachers snark about his mental problems because now he had something so much worse.

He would be bored except he is never alone, which is great because the person around most often is probably the person he wants to be around the most (sorry dad and Scott).

While his dad has work and the others have school (and Peter has whatever Peter has) Derek had nothing, so he visits Stiles constantly.

Stiles does his usual laugh so he doesn't cry because how is it fair that Derek finally starts to notice him in a good way, and he's just going to go and die, and what bastard up there in heaven is laughing at him, this isn't funny?

Derek is still grumpy and broody, and Stiles is still too loud and talky and Stiles-like, but they somehow get along ridiculously easy, and Derek admits late one night (after sneaking in past the nurses) that yes, he liked Stiles a lot and he wished so very very much that since all his family had been taken away, he could just keep Stiles with him and the rest of the pack.

Stiles smiled happily and would have let out a whoop of joy except can we say embarrassing and not even he was that spastic most of the time, though truthfully he had stopped taking the Aderall because it messed with the cancer drugs, and his mind ran rampant because of it.

The treatment left him feeling so absolutely foul, that after another month, Stiles sat down with his family (his father and the pack spent all their time together now, differences meaningless) and told them he was stopping treatment.

There was tears and threats and shouts and punching and even a 'how dare you give up on us you little fucker' from Jackson, but he just waited it out and said plainly that the treatment wasn't working and he was dying and could he please just do it his way?

There were more tears because apparently Stiles meant a lot more than he thought he did, even to Peter and Jackson and Erica, all of whom don't really like people, so he feels touched and loved and so very sorry he's doing this to them.

They stop treatment and he goes home and for a while things get better because he's eating and not as tired and he gains a little colour, and Derek is still there only now there is hugging between threats and Stiles is over the moon even though he thinks that's a stupid phrase and really cliche because hello, wolf pack here.

But still he knows this is just a short reprieve and that he's still dying, so he begins to write and write and write, filling up almost a whole journal with his twisty turny slopey hand writing that suits his manic personality to a 't', leaving messages for the people he loves to read after he's gone.

He writes threats, and jokes, and promises and stories and reminders and tells them frequently that they'll be fine and he's so sorry and he loves them very much.

And then it's almost as if his body knew he was done writing things down because the day after he finishes he starts to feel tired and sore and he knows he's going to die very very soon, and oh wow, he'll see his mom again won't he? Oh wow wow wow, it's probably weird and wrong he's looking forward to that but oh god he missed her more than he thought a person could live through (though technically he isn't living through it, he's dying.)

His family seems to know the same thing he does, because they spend the next three days off school, and off work, all of them camping out in the Stilinski household and saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye, and Deaton is there too, and so is Scott's mom, and then on a Friday afternoon, Stiles feels it deep in his bones and he knows.

He calls for them all (aside from Derek who never left his side even to pee and wow how the hell could the guy hold it in that long?) and they come running and they all know, because they're all crying and he cries too.

He hands the journal to Lydia because she's the most responsible (sometimes) - but also because she's the strongest person he knows - and then he starts to talk, even though his eyes are drooping.

He says his proper goodbyes, tells them to listen to the journal, and to look after each other and says how he loves them once more, before he places a fragile kiss on Derek's lips and lies down.

They're all doing the kind of sobbing that means heaving chests and sore eyes for at least a day, (not to mention a bitch of a headache) and he warned them of this even as his own breathing rattled, and his fingers tightened on Derek's.

His last words were, "I'll be with mom. We'll wait for you." And then his breathing stopped and there were wails, and screams and shouts and tears, but nobody tried to bring him back because they knew he was gone.

...

In a cemetery in town, under the shade of a spruce transplanted from the forest, rests a boy and his mother. The whole town knows of the graves that rest side by side, and the whole town mourns. His grave had at least one visitor (usually more) everyday for years, and on more than one occasion, the caretaker had seen a big black wolf lie curled around the boys headstone, it's face identical to the one carved in the marker of a boy who died too soon.

The grave had his name, the dates of his birth and death, the carving, and one simple sentence underneath.

"We are always Pack."


End file.
